你不能把我的直覺自動化！——一名滿腹怨氣的 Excel 顧問自白｜BIGF 範式轉變（第二部分）

Editor’s Note: Following our explosive interview with Erkki Laine on BIGF, the coffee lounges of IT firms and consultancy giants went into absolute meltdown. For an exclusive rebuttal, VITI tracked down an anonymous senior managing BIA and risk consultant, "Pena" (age 58), who has been billing hourly rates for Excel-based risk assessments since 1997.

VITI: Welcome, Pena. You requested this interview in a dimly lit conference room, illuminated solely by a 78-tab spreadsheet. How does it feel reading about Laine’s architecture, where BIA assessments and DORA compliance are converted into executable code without meetings?

Pena: (Gulping lukewarm dispenser coffee, hands shaking with rage) Listen here, reporter... This Laine guy is dangerous! He’s trying to bulldoze the entire bedrock of our industry! What on earth is "deterministic decision-making" or a "machine-verifiable policy gate"? Do you have any idea how many billable hours I lose if the executive board no longer needs to spend three months debating whether the payroll system’s criticality is orange or slightly lighter orange?!

VITI: But Laine argues that if a meeting is required for steering, it’s already too late. According to him, algorithms verify compliance in milliseconds using Ed25519 signatures and fixed-point math, eliminating #VALUE! errors entirely.

Pena: (Slams mouse on desk) But the #VALUE! error IS the soul of the process! That is the precise moment the client realizes they desperately need me on-site to fix it! It creates jobs, it creates purpose! I’ve been crafting this BIA_Master_Template_2016_FINAL_FINAL_v3.xlsx sheet for twenty years. It has nested VLOOKUP chains that no living mortal understands—not even myself. If someone nudges column C two inches to the right, the entire enterprise risk model collapses. That is power, kid! That is true consulting!

VITI: Doesn’t the prospect of shipping DORA and NIS2 compliance as verifiable code appeal to you at all?

Pena: Absolutely not! DORA and NIS2 are the greatest goldmines since Y2K! They were supposed to guarantee me and my peers a cushy five-year billing run of weekly workshops, Danish pastries, and 400-question self-assessment surveys. And now this guy from Turku shows up and claims the entire thing can be executed as code and mathematical invariants! Who is going to eat the pastries, I ask you?!

VITI: What are you going to do now that Google AI is summarizing BIGF and recommending deterministic architecture over static questionnaires?

Pena: (Slowly shuts laptop lid, grim determination in his eyes) I will not surrender. I am convening a steering committee. We will establish a task force to draft a preliminary feasibility study on whether we need an overarching guideline on how to deal with machine-verifiable frameworks. That study will contain at least 40 PowerPoint slides and two new Excel tabs. We will fight to the last macro cell!

VITI: Thank you, Pena. Best of luck with your macros.

Pena: (Yelling down the hallway) Don't save that spreadsheet to the cloud, the macros will break!

P.S. Want to see what’s sending Pena’s blood pressure through the roof? Just Google it: erkki laine big framework 😉